This is my desire

This is my desire -- to honour You
Lord, with all my heart, I worship You
All I have within me -- I give you praise
All that I adore is in You

Lord, I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I live for You alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake

Lord, have Your way in me

-- "This is My Desire" by Reuben Morgan

I just realised that whenever I come across lyrics on someone else's blog, I seldom take the time to read them; it seems ironic that I would keep a collection like this.

I was told last night that my "type" of music is those with "good lyrics." I don't know if that was meant to be a compliment, or that he was telling me that I'm tone-deaf.

Whilst my favourite songs are those whose lyrics can stand on their own as poetry, I refuse to take anything away from the music. That's a huge part of what God has given to these talented singers and song-writers.

I'm just saying that if the melody is all there is to the song, I'm not going to be singing to it. (Hit me baby -- whaaaaat?)

I don't know about "good lyrics," but I'm contented with "God lyrics." Just a bunch of honest, simple words to sing to -- ask Reuben Morgan, he knows. ;) In any case, no amount of "good lyrics" will ever truly be enough. :)

Give this life to You

All I want to do, is give this life to You
All I want to do, is give this life to You
All I want to do, is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, until it's all I want to do

How does doubt slip in, so silently
And why does condemnation come so naturally
Why do I still get the best of me
Loving so little and living so selfishly

When all I want to do, is give this life to You
All I want to do is give this life to You
All I want to do is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, until it's all I want to do

What have I been given by Your grace
Will I come to understand this mystery I embrace
Make of me a new creation now
Fill me with all You are, and be all I am somehow

Faith so fragile
Reaching for Your hand

-- "All I Want to Do" by Ginny Owens

Something beautiful, something good

"I shouldn't have worried. When the Lord sets you up with your perfect match, He takes all your hopes and dreams into account. Even the little ones you didn't think were important enough to bother with."

-- Daniel Bergey (via HNBP)

Tomorrow

I'd like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of
So tell me now, and I won't ask again
Will you still love me tomorrow?

-- "Will You still Love Me Tomorrow?" by Gerry Goffin and Carole King

I started singing this song in the shower; I don't know why. But as the question played in my head, I realised that God's answer will always be Yes, no matter how many times we ask Him. :)

The Only

"For in all that mankind has ever chosen to worship, the God of the Bible stands alone as the only God who has ever lost His own child."

-- "After the Sea Calms," by Singapore Campus Crusade for Christ (Full PDF here)

Fool?

Over MSN, edited for spelling errors. :)

Me: Even if they listen, they're not listening.

EG: Yes.

EG: They look at us like we are fools.

Me: If following Jesus makes me look like a fool...

Me: I will look like a fool.

Me: Like how we are risking our 25 MB...

EG: Amen.

There are times when faith and common sense do not align
When hard-core evidence of You is hard to find
And I am silenced in the face of argumentative debate
It's a long hill, it's a lonely climb

'Cause they want proof
They want proof of all these mysteries I claim
'Cause only fools would want to chant a dead man's name
Maybe it's true, but

I would be a fool for You
All because You asked me to
A simpleton who's seemingly naive
I do believe --
You came and made Yourself a fool for me

I admit that in my darkest hours I've asked "What if?"
What if we created some kind of man-made faith like this
Out of good intention or emotional invention
And after life is through there will be no You

They want proof of all these miracles I claim
'Cause only fools believe that men can walk on waves
Maybe it's true

Unaware of popularity
And unconcerned with dignity
You made me free
That's proof enough for me

I would be a fool for You
Only if You asked me to
A simpleton who's only thinking of
The cause of love

I will speak Jesus' name
If that makes me crazy
They can call me crazed

I'm happy to be seemingly naive
I do believe --
You came and made Yourself a fool for me

-- "Fool for You" by Nichole Nordeman

This is not a song exhorting fools; it is a song of trusting in my God, even when the world sees me as one. When they think they know better, I can only say that I have all the proof I need -- even if it's not the kind of proof that Man is looking for.

Passion

"Just as we each have unique thumbprints, eye prints, and voice prints, our hearts beat in... different patterns...

"... God has given each of us a unique emotional 'heart beat' that races when we think about the subjects, activities, or circumstances that interest us. We instinctively care about some things and not about others...

"There are certain subjects you feel passionate about and others you couldn't care less about. Some experiences turn you on and capture your attention while others turn you off or bore you to tears. These reveal the nature of your heart.

"... God has a purpose in giving you these inborn interests... There is a reason that you love to do these things.

"... God wants you to use your natural interests to serve him and others...

"... When you are doing what you love to do, no one has to motivate you or challenge you or check up on you. You do it for the sheer enjoment. You don't need rewards or applause or payment, because you love serving in this way...

"Whenever you do what God wired you to love to do, you get good at it. Passion drives perfection.... [D]o it because of passion, not duty or profit.

"... Aim... for 'the better life' -- serving God in a way that expresses your heart. Find out what you love to do -- what God gave you a heart to do -- and then do it for his glory."

-- The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren

I am Yours

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt

Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapour in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am...
I am Yours

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again

Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours

-- "Who am I?" by Casting Crowns

If

If we could see
How much You're worth
Your power, Your might
Your endless worth
Then surely we would
Never cease to praise You

-- "Let Everything that has Breath" by Matt Redman

Tools

"The fact that in recent years [a person] has been diminished in my eyes does not reflect on God.

"In fact I'm now thinking God also used those very faults, and my awareness of them to remind me that the instruments God uses are not what are important. Tools will rust, or break. Tools can fail us. We may discover flaws within the people who opened the doors to our spiritual journeys.

"The journey is still pure...

"I have learned not to confuse the tools with the Toolmaker.

"He is working from a Master plan."

-- "To seek and savor the lost," by Michael Main

Thankful

"The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD."

-- Proverbs 16:33

Something to be thankful for. Balloting for our Final Year Project titles: I'd ranked more than 30 titles. The truth is that, there wasn't any one topic that I was hankering over. I picked out those that interest me, taking into consideration a handful of other factors, and then left it up to God, trusting that whichever project He assigned me, it would be good -- even if it was my "last choice." But God loves to bless us, and give us peace, and balloting for me was completed in Round One, with me getting my first choice title -- so I didn't have to sit through arduous multiple rounds of bidding.

Being thankful for this is the easy part; the hard part is being thankful through tough times. ;)

"... In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

-- 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (Italics mine)

Articulation

"There is a drive within the human heart to memorialize, to preserve, to explain, to articulate dreams. Beyond that we may need simply to remember what life was once like and how we got to where we are."

-- "Mapping your private world," by Gordon MacDonald (via D W)

Truth

I have a plan for you
It will only take a lifetime to see through
I'll show you where to start
And the most that it can cost will be your heart
Give me your heart
Forever, starting now

The truth is out
And living in you now
You'll find out
You're safe now, the truth is out

I have a life for you
And I know you think you've missed your chances to
Find a happy end
And it's feeling later than it's ever been
All that you need is heaven sent

All the best for you and I'm
Here to help you with the balance
Of the low and high
Your restless heart kept still
On the centre of My perfect will
The call that you hear
You’re free to fill
A life full of
Faith, hope and love

-- "The Truth is Out" by Smalltown Poets

There is truly something to be said about God's divine timing: how this CD landed in my lap, minutes before I went for my first Philosophy lecture.

Ron Mehl wrote: "... There are certainly difficult and challenging facts you and I need to deal with every day of our lives. But there is also the truth. And if you don't take God into account, you may have the facts, but you will not have the truth."

And that's the problem. "Truth" is not truth as people think they know it.

I can understand -- I think that if my relationship with God were not what it is now -- that philosophy would be something that I would use as a compass for my life. Simply because it follows a line of logic that is deep enough for one to think it true, yet easy enough for one to apply it. But not all things can be reasoned by mere words.

My relationship with my God is, for me, as real -- if not, more real -- than the relationships I have with my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother, my friends... which, to some, is a concept that might as well be a flying pig.

They forget, that if my God is truly who He claims to be, He can make even pigs fly. It's not about making a point -- that's the best thing about truth, it will speak for itself. Let's just wait and see.

Scattering seeds

"This is what I made you for, pilgrim. I made you to walk the earth. I made you to take my love out on the road for a spin. I want you to scatter seeds of grace and love up and down the highway so we can see what sprouts in the median, along the shoulder, and yes, even down the forgotten lanes."

-- "Susan and the Cookie Man," Gordon Atkinson a.k.a. Real Live Preacher, The Christian Century Magazine

Amazing stuff. Read the whole essay. Please.

The Phantom of the Opera

I gave you my music
Made your song take wing
And now, how you've repaid me
Denied me, and betrayed me...

I hadn't watched the musical before, so I went into The Phantom of the Opera knowing only that Gerard Butler is arguably the most handsome man on the planet, and little else. (A cultural idiot, if you will.)

But I enjoyed it, despite the ratings from most local film critics. The one scene that made me sob like a baby was the one after Christine and Raoul sang "All I Ask of You," professing their love for each other, with the Phantom lurking in the background. When they had gone, the Phantom appeared and sang his betrayal with pain enough to grip anyone's heart.

And I wonder if this is how God feels, each time someone turns away from Him, rejects Him, betrays Him; a zillion times over, every single day. What kind of pain must that be? To have made us in His image -- put His song into our hearts -- only to have us turn our backs on Him. And what kind of love must it have took, for Him to still want to send His only Son to die for us?

The Phantom learned later what God already knew -- that love cannot be forced, that any genuine love must be of free will. God gave us the freedom -- the choice -- to love Him. It's the only kind of love that He will ever accept.

But in the process, He also gave us the choice to deny and betray Him; He set Himself up to be denied and betrayed. That is what love is, and that is the only love God knows.

Good buys!

MusiChristian has some fantastic prices!

I popped over after hearing about Clay being on the cover of Christian Music Planet (features Michael W. Smith and Jeremy Camp too!), not really expecting to buy anything, but then they had a Bebo Norman CD for US$5.00 and Steve Green for US$3.56. I mean, how is that even possible?

It turned out, though, that some CDs were not shippable outside of the US, which made me sad. You guys don't know how good you have it.

In any case, they had international shipping rates about half that of Amazon's, and I kept my purchases under US$20 so that I didn't jump to the next shipping category:

• Wayne Watson by Wayne Watson -- US$3.40
  
• A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle -- US$5.20
  
• Try by Bebo Norman -- US$5.00
  
• Christian Music Planet Magazine Jan/Feb 2005 -- US$3.99
  

I'd always wanted to read Madeleine L'Engle, and this seemed as good a time as any. I have no idea who Wayne Watson is, but the clips sounded good, and blind faith has led me to some wonderful discoveries before. (It definitely helped that it was cheap too -- lowered the risk factor.)

Hopefully they'll get here all right (in "one to three weeks' time"); I will officially make them my favourite online store. US$24.59 including shipping -- about S$40 -- for two CDs, one book, and one magazine. Don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty good deal. :)

Chasing dreams

All work and no play may have made Jack a dull boy
But all work, no God, has left Jack with a lost soul
But he's moving on full steam
He's chasing the American Dream
And he's gonna give his family the finer things

Not this time, son, I've no time to waste
Maybe tomorrow we'll have the time to play
And then he slips into his new BMW
And drives farther and farther and farther away

'Cause he works all day and tries to sleep at night
He says things will get better
Better in time

So he works and he builds with his own two hands
And he pours all he has in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are coming crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands

His American Dream is beginning to seem
More and more like a nightmare
With every passing by
"Daddy, can you come to my game?"
"Oh Baby, please don't work late."
Another wasted weekend
And they are slipping away

'Cause he works all day and lies awake at night
He tells them things will get better
It'll just take a little more time

He used to say, "Whoever dies with the most toys wins"
But if he loses his soul, what has he gained in the end
I'll take a shack on the rock
Over a castle in the sand

Now he works all day and cries alone at night
It's not getting any better
Looks like he's running out of time

All they really wanted was you

-- "American Dream" by Mark Hall

The first thing that came to my mind about Casting Crowns was: FFH meets MercyMe. In the first listen, I've already grown partial to Mark Hall's voice. My only gripe is how short this CD is; 10 songs, with an average length of 4:22 per song (yeah, I calculated okay; couldn't find the total too, so I had to add them all up manually; and you can't just add 3.22 if the song is 3:22 long because that's 3 and 22/60 minutes so you have to normalise accordingly; I'll stop now).

I had a tough time choosing which song to post; a few of them stung my eyes. This song tugged at my heart, because recently I've had to grapple with how little I put into practice the things that I know to be true. With the new school term starting again, I don't want God to take a back-seat; He shouldn't have to.

I don't want to chase dreams without God.

Reaching forward

"... [B]ut one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

-- Philippians 3:13-14 (Italics mine)

What better way to start the year than to wipe the a slate clean and be given a whole new lease of life? :)

They'll get it one day

I don't care what they say about me
It's all right, all right
I don't care what they think about me
It's all right, they'll get it one day

I love You, I'll follow You
You are my, my life
I will read my Bible and pray
I will follow You all day

I don't care what it costs anymore
'Cause You gave it all, and I'm following You
I don't care what it takes anymore
No matter what happens, I'm going Your way

Anyone around can see
Just how good You've been to me
For all my friends that don't know You
I pray that You would save them too

-- "All Day" by Hillsong

It's tempting to jump out of my seat each time I hear of God's word being skewed or misunderstood. But I've learnt that, many times, people are looking to win an argument, rather than to search for truth.

"It's okay, lah," I remember Z telling me once. "Don't need to defend the church. God will defend His people."

They'll get it one day, I try to tell myself. The truth will always come to pass simply by its virtue of being unchangeable.

For those of you who are truly searching, even just for an inkling of who the Christian God is, a good book to pick up is C. S. Lewis' Mere Christianity. There are, and have been, many anointed Christian authors, but what sets Lewis apart from the others is that he never forgot his point of view as a former atheist. This is what made him write with passion and objectivity, faith and reason.

[Edit: I hadn't realised that Mere Christianity is also Mark's Book of the Month! :) I think I'll pick it up again, too, right after I'm done with The Screwtape Letters.]

2005

All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before You, O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain, I'm making them Yours

Lord, I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord, I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You as a pleasing sacrifice
Lord, I offer You my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You

What can we give that You have not given
What do we have that is not already Yours
All we possess are these lives we're living
And that's what we give to You, Lord

-- "I Offer My Life" by Claire Cloninger and Don Moen

You'd be hard pressed to find a better song -- to dedicate the coming year to God -- than this one.

This is my prayer for the coming year. I know that along the way, my priorities may get messed up, but I hope that it will always come down to this: my life in God's hands.

A blessed year ahead, to each and every one of you. :)