Commitment

There are times where, even as I am constantly espousing the value of commitment, I can't help but wonder if I know anything about it at all. It scares me to think that I am vulnerable to turning my back on all the things that I hold most dear, but the more I dwell on it, the more my terrible track record comes back to haunt me.

I picked up the piano for a couple of years when I was younger, but gave that up. I used to sprint and play rugby competitively, but that didn't last long either. At different points in time, I went for Japanese, Russian, and Indonesian lessons; as a result, I know a smattering of each, but not enough of any one to have a real conversation.

Perhaps more worrying is the peaks and troughs that I go through in my relationship with God; if I can adopt such a lukewarm attitude to the Lover of my soul, how can I hope to have any kind of lasting relationship with anyone else? It's something that I will probably need time to sort out -- rather, let God sort it out in me. Because as tempting as romance is, I don't want anything that is based on a novelty that will wear itself out.