Losing love to find romance?

I think one of the big reasons why most marriages end up failing, even in the Church, is because people are getting romance confused with love.

I was checking my e-mail the other day and over on the right side of the screen was a banner advertising an online dating site. At the top it said, “True love is a click away” and beneath that was a model in a black bikini. Since when do toned abs and a pretty face equal love? It seems preposterous to even acknowledge such a thing, yet it’s something that is all too common.

Men are told they are to get the most beautiful girl they can find. In a lot of people’s minds, the success of a man depends on the woman on his arm, or how many has been there before her. When he finds one that is beautiful and sexy, he is lucky, successful, and envied by his peers. I imagine he enjoys knowing that the heads of every man in the room turn to look at his significant other, that so many others are envious of his position. This makes him feel powerful and in control, as if the girl on his arm made him more attractive by just being there.

Women can hear that story and think how silly it is, yet how often, including myself, do we wish we were that girl? How often do we need a man’s approval to feel worth anything? Too often, I think.

-- "The Mysterious Distance" by Drea