Offering
I've been trying to transpose my Kazakhstan journal to cyberspace, but I just couldn't find the time to do it before tonight. But even as I read through the little handwritten notes and entries, I can't seem to be able to weave the words around these stories to tell them the way they deserve to be told.
I can't remember where it starts and where it ends, but I remember that afternoon that we played ball with the village children -- we call it "Monkey," they call it "Potatoes" -- and as we turned to leave, two young girls ran up to us and gave us each a candy bar. I remember that in that moment, I came to a completely new understanding of the parable of the two copper coins; for the first time, I felt just a tiny bit of what God feels when we offer what little we have to Him -- and that was enough to utterly overwhelm me.
I turned to Meizhen, and I saw her eyes start to water as well.
"This moment makes the whole trip worthwhile, doesn't it?" I choked out. I couldn't stop smiling, and she nodded furiously, still unable to speak.
It was like that every single day that we were there; just when we thought it couldn't get any better, it always would, and the words just seem so inadequate, no matter how hard I try.
I know how silly it seems when I say that I struggle to get back into what has been my natural habitat for more than 23 years, but I do -- I am struggling. I don't know for sure yet the reason for this resistance, but I hope that when I eventually find out why, I will have the strength to obey and move wherever God leads.
***
I can't remember where it starts and where it ends, but I remember that afternoon that we played ball with the village children -- we call it "Monkey," they call it "Potatoes" -- and as we turned to leave, two young girls ran up to us and gave us each a candy bar. I remember that in that moment, I came to a completely new understanding of the parable of the two copper coins; for the first time, I felt just a tiny bit of what God feels when we offer what little we have to Him -- and that was enough to utterly overwhelm me.
I turned to Meizhen, and I saw her eyes start to water as well.
"This moment makes the whole trip worthwhile, doesn't it?" I choked out. I couldn't stop smiling, and she nodded furiously, still unable to speak.
It was like that every single day that we were there; just when we thought it couldn't get any better, it always would, and the words just seem so inadequate, no matter how hard I try.
I know how silly it seems when I say that I struggle to get back into what has been my natural habitat for more than 23 years, but I do -- I am struggling. I don't know for sure yet the reason for this resistance, but I hope that when I eventually find out why, I will have the strength to obey and move wherever God leads.
***
All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before You, O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them Yours
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You
Lord, I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord, I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord, I offer You my life
What can we give that You have not given
What do we have that is not already Yours
All we possess are these lives we're living
And that's what we give to You, Lord
-- "I Offer My Life" by Claire Cloninger and Don Moen
posted by Laughingcow at 10:07 pm
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